Thursday, November 11, 2010

A chicken and a baby?

Far to often lately I find myself feeling like the picture above. I feel stressed. I feel frazzled. I feel like I'm being pulled in a million directions.

I want to feel like the next picture

I want to feel calm. Calm and loved and cared for and secure are my dreams. Most days I do feel like this or at least parts of my days.

I crave quiet.

We have had a complicated week. I finished the first part of my painting job (I don't even know if I posted about that!) Hubby had a friend who came into his work that needed some interior painting done. It took me 15 hours to do his two toned dining room, trim and ceiling but in his words... the dining room looked awesome! I'm happy and hopefully this will lead to more side jobs for me.

I love to paint. I can let my perfectionist run free when I paint! I don't have to deal with alot of people or deadlines or difficult situations. Painting is like meditation.

We have had some very intense in-home counseling sessions with our new son. We only have 3 weeks left with the counselors before we will have complied with the court order. I think they are turning up the heat because we are running out of time. It's been difficult. It's been hard. It's been emotional. But, we are learning so much about each other! We have some conferences scheduled with the school soon just to make sure we are on the right track.


Today I am simply exhausted. I want to just curl up in my bed and sleep. I don't want to do the dishes. I don't want to cook dinner. I don't want to do laundry. I don't want to help with homework.

But! I will and I will pray for the ability to just Quit Whining!


Elizabeth Mahlou said...

An educational administrator I know has a big sign on his desk for students and faculty: "Whining...$5." I pray that you get some SLEEP. That always makes me feel much better.

brandyreneebruce said...

It's okay to whine. :) We all do it sometimes. And really, I love the way you phrase it, "I crave quiet." I feel that way all the time. Sometimes we need a little quiet, a little calm in our lives. We're all so busy these days that I think we need time to just be quiet and reflect. It's good for us.

Thou Art Jules said...

Elizabeth! I love that! It makes you think before you speak :-)

Brandy, I know you are right. We are so hard on ourselves aren't we! I have been working to rid our lives of some of the things that keep us busy without any positive gain. Hopefully that will help in the long run. Not just for me but the children as they grow up too.

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