Who you are VS who you want to be

I often use to think that I had been born with the wrong socio-economic background. I felt like I was way too smart to be born into my family (yes, I was that proud!) I felt like I should've been born into a family that had stocks and college savings accounts. Of course in all of that I failed to realize my own part. I didn't apply for scholarships and I didn't apply for financial aid. I somewhere along the way gave up and fell into the trap that I felt society had set for me.

Fast forward 20 or so years and sometimes now I feel like I was born into the wrong century! I long for peaceful and quiet days. I long for communion with others. I commented once on someones blog that I use to daydream that I was born into an Amish or Mennonite family. There was alot that happened in my life in those 20 years. Of course it was again my failure to realize that has me in the situation I am in. While I wish we lived in a big old farmhouse. I wish that we homeschooled. I wish that my children loved and respected the church. I wish that I had the discipline to wake early for time with God. I wish I remembered to say grace over EVERY meal.

Perhaps this is part of the battle. I also love my modern conveniences though. I really enjoy indoor plumbing and electricity. I really love my computer and internet. I feel stuck between the world I am in and the world I want. Now to produce a plan with Gods grace that will land me in a place that is at least close to where I want to be but exactly where HE wants me to be!