Thursday, September 30, 2010

"MOM"s the word

The rain is here. It's actually been here for several days cleansing the earth and washing away the dust and pollen. It is filling the soil with lifegiving water. Rain doesn't bother me. It's so cleansing and purifying to me. I love rainy days with a little chill in the air. It's the perfect time for chili and chicken and dumplins. It's perfect for hot coco and coffee anytime!

The leaves are turning and falling to the ground with colors that vary individually. I love this time of year. It makes me want to cook and to clean and to read and to gather my loved ones together. It is a season for family like none other.

I've had many things on my mind lately. I don't have the links but will look for them because some bloggers have given me great food for thought lately.

One blogger asks.. Do you want to be successful or do you want to be significant? What a great question! Success often bubbles up feelings that are negative for me. Is this because of my upbringing in a low income family? Perhaps it is because I've seen success ruin lives because some people cannot handle it? I'm not entirely sure and am still thinking on it. Regardless.. I want to be significant! I want to be meaningful! I want people to remember me for who I am and what/who I represent in my life. I really don't care if they remember how I dressed or what kind of shoes I wore :-) I don't think people remember those things anyway. I heard once that people actually mainly remember how you made them feel. That's what I'm shooting for!

We had our second family counseling session yesterday for David. It's been a little challenging to fit in all of the inhome visits but we are committed to providing David with everything he needs to adjust and as a byproduct whatever we need to make sure we are adjusting well too. The wonderful thing about this program is that it doesn't just focus on him. It focuses on the family as a unit. All the parts need to be working properly to function well. It makes sense.

I'm learning so much about him this way because the counselors sometimes ask questions that I've wondered about but never asked.

We talked yesterday about the word MOM. It is such a significant word! I cherish the word Mom and Mother and Momma and any variation of it. It is important to me and holds so much meaning. So, since we are now David's parents should he call me Mom? He has and he does occasionally. The funny thing is I felt kinda weird about it. I'll tell you why.

This isn't the first time that a child that was not biologically mine has called me Mom. Casey had a best friend all through school that called me Mom. Her name was Brandi. We loved her to death!

Brandon has a friend named Aaron who lives next door. He is living with his aunt and uncle. He calls me Mom frequently.

Each time I hear these kids call me MOM I feel good because I know that I am providing them with something they really need somehow. But, at the same time I feel guilty and I feel wrong. Why? Because I know that these kids have a Mother. What would their Mother think? How would she feel if she heard her child calling someone else Mom? I'm not sure but I know that if I heard my children calling someone else MOM it would hurt my feelings. I feel like that is MY word! I'm MOM! lol

I've never told them not to call me Mom. But, I've always been secretly afraid that we'd be out in the yard or something and someone would hear them - most importantly.. their Mom would hear and be hurt. It would hurt me so I logically assume it would hurt them.

With David, it's different somewhat. We have custody of him. We are legally his parents. However, he does still have a Mother. We haven't heard from her or seen her in two months but that doesn't mean she isn't there somewhere. I worry that someday she will come back and hearing him call me Mom would really be unbearable.

In some ways I think I shouldn't worry about that. My ultimate responsibility is to David. To love him, to protect him, to teach him etc. My ultimate responsibility is not to his Mother but I can't help but feel bad for her each time he addresses me with that wonderful, loving, most special title of MOM!


Sr. Ann Marie said...

We've got the rain but not the signs of fall--but I'm not giving up hope! And chicken and dumplings sounds fantastic in any weather. I also agree that I'd prefer to be significant and meaningful. I sometimes wonder if we ever realize the difference we might have made in someone's life. I think the important thing is that we've made it--not that we know it.

Blessings on all that you do and continue to do to help others!

Let'sMakeADifference said...

I'm your newest follower!! Would love for you to check out my blog and follow back!

Thou Art Jules said...

I don't think we ever realize the difference we make either. It's probably better that way :-)

I know there have been countless people who have made a huge impact on my life and probably have no idea.

I will never forget a nurse at one of my doctors offices. She was single (I can't remember if she was a widow or divorced.) But, she was telling me about her grown children. They both lived a good way from her now and she was going to visit one and her grandson for Christmas. She spoke about how she wished she had taken more "time" especially during the holidays to really enjoy everything instead of worrying and stressing about cooking, decorating and presents.

This was 2 years ago and my Christmas priorities have changed drastically because of this little conversation. This was a specialists office and not my regular doctor so I've not seen the nurse in a very long time but I will NEVER forget that talk!

Thanks so much for stopping by today!

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