Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Modesty


I am always amazed by the way God works through people. I have been working on drafting up a post about modesty. My internet is temporarily out of service so I have been using my neighbors wifi occasionally. Every time I do get on to check things.. I see increasingly more and more posts on modesty. I wonder what brought this up to so many women at the same time? Did we all see something that prompted it, hear something that prompted it or is it the workings of the Holy Spirit?



Regardless of the reason, it’s there for a purpose so I’m going to share my story. I will not be posting on the scriptural reasons for dressing modestly but rather just sharing my thoughts and feelings on the issue.

My husband took the family on a trip to an amusement park a few days ago. This was the beginning of my modest ponderings.. I think.


A little over three years ago I lost a significant amount of weight. I went from being obese to normal sized in about a years time. For the first time in my life I felt healthy and I felt GOOD about myself! I felt like I looked attractive and could take on the world. I was blessed with a dream job and began my transformation from housewife to professional almost overnight. I loved shopping! I loved buying clothes that would accentuate my better assets, that made me feel good and that made me feel “powerful.”


Don’t get me wrong here, I wasn’t dressed like a street hooker but I did push the limits for myself. I bought more and more lower cut blouses, brighter and bolder designs. I gravitated towards shapelier fittings and higher and higher heels. It was my goal to look the part, to look better than my co-workers and to get attention. In the sales world, appearance has a big part in your success. I know people will say otherwise but I believe your appearance and your attitude are all it takes! I was in the top 10 in my district every month after my training period until the day I left! I liked the attention and I admit… I liked knowing that people found me attractive.


About a year ago my world began tilting and shifting until I was at the tipping point. I was diagnosed with panic/anxiety disorder and depression. I ended up having to leave my much loved career and with the medication, found the 50 lbs I had lost.


There is a point to this story I promise!


I am still battling daily my panic/anxiety/depression but realized in a conversation recently with someone I really trusted that perhaps had it not been for this new problem I would have ended up in a much more horrible place. I could have easily found myself in a predicament with another man, I could have easily continued to ignore my husband and I could have easily continued to work so much that I rarely spent any time with my children or at home. I could have lost everything so easily! Now, I don’t think I was at that point but I can see now in hindsight how fast I was driving down that curvy road!


So, sometimes I wonder if this was all a gift from God.


So, as we were leaving for Busch Gardens this week, I checked the weather and they were calling for 99 degrees! I quickly donned my white tank top (with built in support) and a pair of blue cargo shorts. We stopped at Walmart to pick up some sunblock and I caught sight of myself in a mirror. I remember thinking… is this how I want to look? I made my way to the womens clothing section and found a stack of shirts on sale for $5. I picked a nice neutral tan colored shirt and headed for the checkout. This was one of those T-shirts that isn’t really sporty but you could wear it with khaki pants if you wanted and it would look just fine. I did wear the tank top in the car for the 2 ½ hour drive but changed before entering the park.


I did not feel self conscious while riding rides and playing games with the kids and probably blended right in with the crowds. I don’t want to teach my children (boy or girl!) that you need that kind of attention. I have really started to rethink many of my clothing choices in the last few months. I’m not ready to go all dresses or to cover my hair all the time but I certainly am seeing changes in my heart and soul.


What about you ladies? What are your feelings on modest dress? How do you dress? Why? Or have you ever even thought about it?

1 comment:

Ken, Christie, Camille, Caroline said...

Jules, great job on making the right decision and putting on something that you're not self-conscious wearing. You're right, it's an easy trap to fall in, that of being cool with the attention you get from dressing the "other way," and we have to guard ourselves against that. It's a personal thing I've been working on and speaking to young girls about for years, and I was happy to read your post on it. :)

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