OK so as I've said before. This is going to be my first full Lenten season. I'm excited because well.. I get excited about learning new things! I think we could've covered some more of this information in RCIA but since we've missed so many classes due to weather I guess you can't fit it all in one Sunday :-) So, I'm learning! The music was different last night. I made it to the 7:00 Mass just in time. Thank the good Lord that I have a 4 wheel drive vehicle. You should've seen the mound of snow I had to park on! So back to the story. Yes, the music was different even some of the things that you know you are suppose to say/sing (but that you don't know when you haven't been Catholic for very long) of course the colors changed which was beautiful! I still have ash on my forehead as I felt ill last night and went straight to bed and have been waiting for the laundry to finish this morning so I'll have enough hot water.... It is neat to look in the mirror and see it though. It makes you remember. I thought it would be neat to do every day because it would help you keep focused? I was very proud to see a news report last night (which was about shoveling snowy sidewalks) with a lady coming down the street and being interviewed with a great big black cross on her forehead :-) It made me smile.
Fasting and abstinence... This is all new to me. I was reading about how it use to be that you gave up meat, eggs and dairy products for the entire Lenten season... I thought HEY! That sounds more like it. This fast and abstinence thing sounds too easy for just two days total! I thought.. this is what I should do. Really challenge myself!
haha
rewind to yesterday when I was totally famished! Hungrier than I ever remember being in my life! haha
Funny things the mind does to you when you know you cannot have something! I don't know who I thought I was! But I figured out pretty quick that I really don't have as much control as I thought I did. My apologies to all! Sincerely...
Fast forward a little to Mass. It was beautiful, the church was full and conveniently I ended up sitting right behind my sponsor. I realized late in the day that I had forgotten to take my blood pressure medication and was feeling pretty weird all day. I didn't know if it was a panic/anxiety thing rearing up or what. Now in hindsight I think it was probably my blood pressure. I almost turned around and went home instead of to Mass last night because I was afraid (of a panic or anxiety attack.) But, I stuck it out. The service was beautiful. The fellowship was light hearted. But imagine me - so self involved that at first I was pretty insulted when Fr. Burt said that we are nothing... that we are nothing! I'm thinking.. wait a minute here! I am something! I am definitely something and most definitely not a nothing! So, I spent alot of the last 30 mins of Mass praying for God to help me understand. I feel much better now that I've come down off of my high horse. My church is pretty big but if we all rode in our our high horses there wouldn't be much room and it would probably stink to high heaven!
hmmm... I should probably go pray some more right now!
1 comment:
Your post is awesome! I wish my priest could or would read it. I must tell him about it, anyway! Reason for that is so many things you said and noticed on Ash Wednesday was exactly how he described things he noticed on that day...he went about watching people (Catholics) in public and how nice it was to notice the looks they gave one another when they saw another cross of ashes on someone's forehead..he could see that look of "solidarity." Also, our church was packed and we have a big one too...it was looking like Easter, I tell ya..standing room only and the back was packed with folks standing. The music was lovely..a violinist, none the less, but it was so moving, that people were going.."OH! THAT is lovely!" For the longest, right before the Holy, Holy, Holy, and the Consecration, Father had to stand before the altar awaiting the very moving piece to be completed but it was so moving as it took a couple more minutes and watching him standing with such reverence before the altar, one had a moment to think of Jesus being right there with us! It was just one of the most moving Ash Wed. Masses I think I've ever been to. It is nice to see a person appreciate all of this so very much, Julie.
PS...Oh, yes, I'm in Indiana and I hear similar news ..thanks for reminding me to shovel off our deck also and the car that is sitting in the driveway that still has some of the last snow packed on it! Ah..I love the white, but.......
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