Sunday, September 26, 2010

Why do you stay home when your children aren't little anymore?

I've never been asked this question but honestly, I ask myself often. Why do I feel the need to defend my position? Perhaps because I battle with it so much.

There is such a pull in society to be a working Mother. Children now have so much stuff! If you don't have the latest clothes, ipod, cellphone, game console etc you are sorely lacking. I found myself questioning myself this week if my children were suffering because of my decision to stay at home. I even put in a few job applications.

Later I wondered..... What the heck am I doing?? I refuse to go back to work to buy cellphones! Perhaps to keep the electricity on but not for things that aren't needed or important. Sure, they might be important to a 16 year old but in the grand scheme of things....

I have a bad habit of doubting myself. Sometimes I even wonder if it's a cop out to think that God wants me home with my children. Like.. am I just being lazy? Am I just coming up with excuses so I don't have to face the "real" world?

I don't think so. I'm certainly not lazy! I do so much that laziness would be a ridiculous statement. I could be making excuses to avoid anxiety but that isn't all.

I stay home because...

Someone needs to know what my children are doing. They are too old for afterschool care. Someone needs to know where they are and who they are with. While I don't want to micromanage them, I do want them safe. How could I do this from work? I couldn't! I've been there and I know.

Someone needs to keep up the house. Sure, the kids need to learn household skills but I believe they still need to see Mom taking care of the home.

Someone needs to prepare dinner. Again the kids need to learn to cook, prepare and serve meals but not every night. They need someone making a healthy dinner for them.

They deserve a family dinner.

They need to hear "good morning!" and they need to hear "sleep tight!"

They deserve to have a parent that is paying attention and participating in their lives.

Now, I'm not knocking working Moms. Please don't think that! I have been there and often fight with myself about returning :-)

So, how do I deal with the financial strain? How do I deal with the utility cut off notices? How do I help support my husband so that he can better provide for us?

I think for today my only answer is to pray, pray, pray!

1 comment:

Suzanne said...

I didn't struggle with that too often as I was homeschooling and they (kids) could not even begin to say I was lazy, but I know how you feel. I do work very part-time now, but even that has caused a problem or two ..enough of one at times, that I may quit very soon and I won't feel "lazy" if I do. I went to help pay for tuition to a private school for my son, but that didn't pan out too well, so what is the good reason for it now. There should be none as the car is going to be paid of in 2 mos. So, pray for me to decide the right timing..that is all I need. :) God bless and good post, Julia! :) Suzanne

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