Sunday, August 29, 2010

Am I better than you?

Sometimes I struggle with what to write. I want to be an uplifting and inspiring person. However, when I sit down to write I just want to let everything spill out that is worrying me!

I have felt so blessed this week. Though we have our rough patches, I am so blessed to have the family that God has given me! My children are so creative and thoughtful. We've been blessed with the ability to help others and to teach. The Lord is truly taking care of us. When logically I look at our situation, I don't understand how me even manage the basics of life like electricity, water and house payments. But, the Lord provides! There is always enough. We may make decisions to cut the cable and internet but are blessed with a neighbor who used our wifi for years that is now letting us use her wifi :-) We found netflix for $9 each month that allows us to watch instant movies online and recieve movies in the mail. We can reach out and help others and miraculously the more we help, the more we find ourselves able to help.

Trusting is becoming a habit for me. A habit I have been cultivating and I am seeing the seeds sprout in my daily life.
I still struggle with my daily time with God. I am still struggling with anxiety and weight gain. I struggle with knowing how to best teach my children who I erroneously did not teach to love and fear the Lord.
I have started a pen and paper journal again. A place to write my fears and worries. A place to write my prayers for help. I am hoping that will help me focus on a more positive note with this blog. Sure, I'll still share our struggles but hopefully it will not be my only avenue because I will have already handed everything over to the ONE that matters most.

I had to look up this verse this week as it was on my mind for days. I remembered the vewse being something along the lines of "do not delight in others misfortune."

I've found what I believe is it in Obadiah 1:12 NIV

You should not look down on your brother
in the day of his misfortune,
nor rejoince over the people of Judah
in the day of their destruction,
nor boast so much
in their day of trouble.

This verse came to me as I heard of a legal decision that was made regarding someone. Though I believe they rightfully deserved the decision and I believe justice was served, I immediately felt ashamed of my reaction. My reaction was one of celebration. I wanted to celebrate! I'm not sure if it qualifies as misfortune when it was not some horrible thing that happened so an innocent person or not. Never the less, I felt guilty. I have prayed and prayed and began praying for this person for the Lords will in their life. That this season will give way to positive change in their lives that will bring them happiness and peace. I do not want to be full of pride. I do not want to think of myself as someone better. However, this is how I felt!

So, I pray and I write and as always I invite you to comment and share with me and others how this verse may relate to something in your life past or present!

God Bless!

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