Saturday, June 19, 2010

That didn't last long...

So, I'm feeling that my purpose here is to share my struggles and what I am learning along the way. That was kind of my purpose when I started this blog to begin with. Not so much for people to read (although I love readers!) I've gotten away from that.

So, here goes!

The majority of my posts here are about my journey into the Catholic Church. You can read back if you'd like to see what that is all about. I've been waiting to hear back from the tribunal about my annulment because I was married previously. It looks like that's going to take a while....

Around Easter when my son was baptised I began feeling horrible about attending Mass. I felt left out, I felt unwanted and I felt unsure of myself. I mulled it over in my mind for a while and came to the conclusion that I was throwing a "temper tantrum" at God if you will.

Later I decided that I might enjoy visiting some other churches. I grew up in alot of Baptist churches so I immediately looked for a relatively large Baptist church in the area that would appeal to the kids too. We've attended several times.

At the time I felt led to go there but sometimes I question if it was my fear that led me there. I mean it's a great church. I love the people I have met and the services are very nice. But, I wonder if my fear and my temper tantrum are what let me away.

Who knows? God must because I sure don't!

Last Sunday I overslept and missed service at the Baptist church so I got dressed and headed down to St. Francis. I enjoyed the service immensly. I still get pouty when Holy Communion comes around because I cannot partake. The churches are so different! I do not subscribe to the idea that everyone who goes to a church that is not Catholic is going to Hell. I love both churches very much but in different ways.

::edit 10:04pm:: Just so nobody gets upset at that comment let me say that I don't believe that you must be Catholic to go to Heaven but because of the reaction that I received from many of the people I know I assumed that most did think that. I am finding that is not the case :-)

So, lots more to pray about. I am incredibly afraid to put everything I have into St. Francis only to find out later that I cannot come into full communion with the church anyway. However, I don't want to go elsewhere for the wrong reasons!

It shouldn't be this difficult! lol

Have a great weekend!


Allison said...

Why are you under the impression that those who aren't Catholic go to Hell? That's not what the Church teaches.

A journey to Catholicism is not easy. Mine certainly wasn't. I went through quite a rift in my family as a result of my decision. But I kept with it. And I'll let you know that I have never regretted my decision. No, I'm very happy and grateful that I'm where I am now.

Should you feel left out during communion? I don't necessarily think so. Because, if the Church allowed anyone to take communion like so many other Protestant denominations, then it looses it's value. It's saying that it doesn't matter what you believe. It also looses some respect I think. Eucharist holds such a special place in Catholicism, that they don't want people taking it who don't respect it or understand it. Hence why it's even a serious issue for Catholics to partake if they're in mortal sin!

Yes, annulments take time. But, they have a lot of them to do. If it were easy it'd be like divorce. Just anyone could get one.

Anyways, just my thoughts. Hope I don't offend you.

Thou Art Jules said...

Hey Allison! Thank you for your honesty! I am not offended.

I personally am not under the impression that those who aren't Catholic go to Hell. When I first started considering going to visit another church I received some advice from people I knew that basically they felt that there was no way that God would be calling me elsewhere. I guess I posted that to kind of clear up my stance on it and assumed that the majority felt that way as well.

Like I said, I feel like I have been throwing a temper tantrum of sorts because things didn't happen on MY timetable. However, I know that things are suppose to happen on HIS timetable. I know deep down that I will find myself at home in the right church whether it is our local parish or somewhere else. I do not believe in coincidence. I know that things happen for a reason even if that reason is growth.

I pray that all of that came out as it was intended and I thank you for taking the time to comment with your thoughts!


Allison said...

Good, glad I didn't offend! Sometimes these things can be quite heated with opinions.

I could never say that you had to join the Catholic Church or else you're doomed, as I grew up Lutheran and obviously have some fondness for them because of that. But I grew and learned that much of what I was taught about the Catholic Church was a lie, and that there were many things Protestant churches had dropped over the years as they became more liberal. The Catholic Church is one Church that hasn't changed.

Because of that, I do feel like the Catholic Church has a lot to offer that other churches do not. I just worry about other denominations because they continuously become more liberal with homosexuality, female pastors, birth control, abortion, etc. You can never know which church is right. But then you look at the history of the Catholic Church and it has not changed its stance on these major issues. I just feel like they have the most respect for life and a good grasp on the teachings of Jesus since they have been around for so long.

Sorry for the long-winded post, I do feel strongly about the Catholic Church, but I understand that not all people feel the same way or feel called to Catholicism for whatever reason. Ultimately that choice is between them and God, and no one should judge.

I hope you can find your place somewhere!

Sarah Harkins said...

How does you son feel who was baptised into the Catholic Church? Does he want to go to Mass on Sundays?

You comment about "not suscribing" to the idea that nonCatholics go to Hell sounds you think that most Catholics think that. I don't know any Catholic who thinks that. I don't think it would be very Catholic to think that way!

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