Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Wifey Wednesday

I am participating in Wifey Wednesday this week from Sheila Wray Gregoires' blog! Head on over to To Love, Honor and Vacuum to see what others have to say!

This weeks topic was discipline. More specificially when you don't discipline the same way as your spouse does.

This is something that many young couples or new couples do not discuss. Most likely because it doesn't come up or maybe because you don't really know how you will discipline until the first time your little angel does something wrong or dangerous.

This has always been a struggle for my husband and I. First of all, we are a blended family. Secondly, we discipline very very differently! For years (and I mean YEARS!) this was the main if not the only source of real discontent in our marriage. I felt like my husband was way too harsh with the children. I felt that he was cruel and out of control. Now mind you, he did not hit but he was loud and mean.

I tried to figure out what to do for years! I tried everything until I basically did all of the discipline, my husband was angry at me and the kids stayed as far away from him as they could.

About a year ago I had an epiphany. This was about the same time I found the Lord again (or should I say - he knocked me over the head and called me back home.) I realized that I was hurting my husband, my children and myself. I was so busy controlling everything that my husband resented me and that was coming out in his interaction with the kids. Who knows maybe he was a tad bit jealous because he felt I was always taking their side. Generally I really wasn't, I felt they were wrong but that he was even "wronger" in the way he reacted...

So, I took a step back. I actually did this from many things in our life. I let my husband take charge again. It has been a very slow process. We are about 9 months into it now. However, I see such a change! My husband is not angry all the time! He handles situations much better and the kids are so much happier!

So, when I hear a story about a husband over reacting with his children it always makes me wonder if it is because his wife is so controlling. I believe with all my heart that my husband felt that he had no control and no voice! I have given that back to him and our lives are so much richer!

I do still discipline the children as I am home full-time but when it is something that can wait I always talk it over with Dad and we present a united front.

I am so happy that I found the courage (or un-courage lol) to give this a shot!

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