Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Wifey Wednesday 5/19

Wifey Wednesday is hosted by Sheila over at To Love Honor and Vacuum

Today's topic over at To Love Honor and Vacuum is about Sex.

Sex is rarely easy to talk about as it is so highly personal. However it seems like I've been hearing so much about it lately. I attended the AWI One Marriage Conference not long ago and intimate relationships were the topic several times, I heard something on TV today about human trafficing, and then there was that book that was about being intimate every night for 30 days...

Personally, I was a very promiscious teenager. I now believe that I was truly "looking for love in all the wrong places!" I did not know that then. I have learned alot about myself by reflecting on that time in my life.

Even in my adult life I struggled with the physical side of relationships. Intimacy as currency is a disfigured part of our society. It is used to gain attention, to try to gain love and acceptance. These things follow us into marriage! I actually made this topic my career for 10 years. Yes, for 10 years I did "romance enhancement parties." If you've never heard of them, it's like a tupperware party but the goods sold are intimate enhancement products. I shouted from the rooftops the importance of women getting their just desserts.

It took years but as my thinking changed I realized how much of this business was conducted at the expense of men. Originally I started to change the way I presented our parties. I did them in a couples centered way. I tried to stop the jokes that were made at mens expense, I touted the products that were beneficial for the two of you together.

I have since left the business never to return again. It's one of those things that through this metamorphisis God has started in my life was not healthy, not pleasing to him. I do often wonder how I could take that experience and use it to minister to women and men in a healthy, Christ centered way. I trust that I will find that answer if I am meant to do so.

We all know how important intimacy is to a marriage. It's not the end all but it is extremely important. I believe that anything a wife can do (within reason) to please her husband should be done. I also believe that anything a man can do (within reason) to please his wife should be done.

I take my children to outings sometimes that I don't really feel like going to, how can I deny my husband a time of intimacy? Usually we end up enjoying ourselves as well. Once we learn to shut off our brains, stop thinking about the electric bill or Jimmy's report card. We need time to "just be." Together!

There are things that you can do.
1. Pray! Intimacy is a gift from God. It's ok to pray for guidance or help.
2. Prepare yourself. Our brain is the biggest part in this dance. Take a bubblebath, put on something soft or lacy, how about some lotion too.
3. Really look at your husband. When was the last time you REALLY looked at your husband? I know that I have found myself looking at my husband and being in awe that through all the arguements, work, kids, chores etc. I completely forgot how handsome he is! Take a few minutes to observe your man today. Clear your mind and really see his face again.

The rest I believe will follow. Men love to please their women!

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