Marriage Mondays

Marriage Mondays are hosted by Julie over at Come Have a Peace

I realize this post is almost an entire week late :-) If I can manage to sit at this desktop long enough, I'll catch up. I miss my daily blogging and reading but have had a hard time switching to this new mode of communication. Luckily my laptop power cord should be arriving in SD today and a new one on it's way next week with any luck! I work much better from my bedroom with my computer on my lap!

I've been reading Julie's posts about vacation and have been thinking about trying a camping vacation this summer. Finances are very tight right now with me being out of work. The last thing I want to do is strain them further or give my husband something else to worry about. So, I'm looking at inexpensive ways to do this.

Julie's Marriage Monday post this week is about Resting and Playing together.

This is a great one for me. I've been changing my routine for the last 10 months or so. I'm becoming a better wife and mother. I've been striving to put my husband and my family first.

Resting together is not so much of a problem. It may not be the best way but we watch TV together each night. I purchased a small flat screen TV for Kevin on Valentine's day that mounts on the wall. We have been watching a lot of indemand shows from their first season. We watch one episode each night. Although it's not extremely interactive for us as a couple, it is so much better than our old routine. We spent alot of time in separate rooms watching or doing separate things. We now enjoy this time to cuddle, pet and just be together.

The play part is hard for me. With my anxiety/panic disorder I find it hard to get out and do things together. Once I get out, I usually enjoy it but the getting there is awful for me. Our trip to the vineyard last weekend is a perfect example. I had myself all worked up over this outing. It was with people he worked with. I find myself trying to make a good impression. I know that some (if not all) of them know that I'm not working, know that I'm on medication and I want to show them that I'm not crazy! I don't ever want anyone to think "poor Kevin, it's so sad that he has a crazy wife." I'm laughing as I type this but almost crying too. It's silly but it's so deeply true.

We had a great time! I was still nervous but I made it and came home smiling! It took me a few days to recover and I just wanted to hide in my room. But, it was good! Several months ago I wouldn't have gone. I would've refused! However, in trying to put his needs/wants first I made myself go and am pleased that I did.

We are all a work in progress.