Thursday, January 7, 2010

Call to Holiness


This week in RCIA our topic was The Universal Call to Holiness

We had several scriptures to refer to which I have not looked all of them up. Usually I would put them here but many are lengthy. We also had a nice powerpoint presentation. Class was not very full but it was a week of class where CCD is out. Brandon went with me since he didn't have class and said he liked mine better! lol

Next weeks topic is Baptism. I'm thinking of taking Brandon to that class as well since he will be baptised at Easter. This way I known he understands it.

OK so we talked about so much that I could probably do several posts on it. I might as the week goes on. I've read before about how each of us has an implanted desire for happiness that only God can fulfill. I think that is so true. So many people searching for meaning, validation, happiness. It is and can be only found in one place!

We discussed how holiness is being like Christ. While we will never be able to say we are Holy. We often are holier than we were! :-) Our teacher explained holiness like this - and increase in faith, hope and love (charity.) That seems very fitting! I am definitely holier than I was say a year ago!

We discussed how hard it is. Suffering, desires, sin. It's tough to push that all away but we are always trying.

We then discussed resources that are there for us. Our Blessed Mother, the Church, Sacraments, family, fellowship and prayer.

I do have a question though. I often read about the cross and offering up suffering. I'm confused about this if anyone can help enlighten me.

Life

Today seemed like a really long day. I slept and slept and slept. Now it's after midnight and I'll be sleeping again soon! I have been battling this depression, anxiety, panic disorder stuff that reared it's ugly head for me in 2009. I have received comfort that this is for a reason. I have been able to do so much that I couldn't do before. I was working WAY too much and never home, I was stressed trying to be #1 which I was pulling off quite nicely :-) But, now I am here to take the kids to the bus stop when it's 2 degree windchill, I'm here to talk to them after school, drive them to and from sports practice, cook and best of all I am able to re-enter the RCIA program. I would not have done many of these things if this had not happened. i think it is shaping my future, the way I look at life. Sure, I have bad days when like today I had to call my father for help with the electric bill and I sink into feeling guilty that it is because of my decision that we are suffering financially but.. Thanks be to God that I have my father with us still, that he is able and willing to help!

Anway. I was taking Zoloft because both of my doctors recommended it but when they raised the dosage I just wanted to sleep all the time and the depression was not lifting. It helped with the panic, anxiety but not the depression. So, they lowered it back down and prescribed Wellbutrin. This is the one that I could not afford but was accepted into the program through Glaxo Smith Kline that will allow me to receive the prescription for free for one year! Another prayer answered!

I don't know how everyone who reads my blog feels about antidepressants. I have family members who feel very strongly against them. I however am to the point of desperation and believe that this could help. It is the Wellbutrin that is making me so tired right now. They say that goes away within 2 weeks.

I started the annulment process. I can't remember if I posted about that on here yet. I was married at 18 for about 6 months and am praying that this will not cause another delay in my journey to be in full communion with the church.

I am so grateful!

for fellow bloggers!
for late night TV
for all of our brothers and sisters who have devoted their lives to the Lord
for my generous and loving father
for my husband who is doing his best! and still has time to tell me it's OK when I'm not
for my daughter who gets hyper after a track meet and can't stop talking
for my son who loves to go to the gym and play basketball every day after school
for popcorn with butter
for the teachers at our church
for our church staff
for my doctors
for the ability to make this a learning and growing experience

4 comments:

Barbara said...

Dear Julia,

Due to my physical illnesses I've gone through enormous depression to the point that I did not want to wake up the next morning. Things turned around for me when I got on thyroid, Vitamin D3, and iodine. Blood tests for thyroid are not helpful because they only tell how much you have in your bloodstream, not what the cells are actually using. There is a blood test for Vitamin D levels and they should be around 50-65. Deficiencies in D are notorious for causing depression and other big problems. Iodine and thyroid are related. If you can find an MD who practices holistic medicine, you may not need anti-depressants. It could be a systemic issue as it is with me. In fact, anti-depressants only mask symptoms. They don't cure the cause, which is really important to find. The panic attacks can also be of systemic origin. The brain chemistry is off kilter and needs to be fixed. Dr. Mercola has a very informative web site, as does Dr. David Brownstein. You will find links at my web site.

I will pray for you because it so hard to be ill.

My web site, http://www.sufferingwithjoy.com is about offering suffering up in union with the suffering with Christ for the salvation of souls. This is an old Catholic practice. You can learn more about it by reading about Our Lady of Fatima. There are other resources, such as Pope John Paul IIs "Salvifici Dolores" which is available in the EWTN online library. Today I have a bad cold and can't think too clearly or I'd give you more references.

I hope things turn around for you soon.

Thou Art Jules said...

Thank you so much for all of your great ideas!

Sarah - Kala said...

Barbara had given you some good stuff here. There is nothing like a good helping hand!

It does not matter what others think about your reality. You needed help, you are getting it. The important thing is to keep knocking and researching alternatives . . . my mum has issues and will not go to a doctor and even if she did it's likely she would not believe them. She became a Catholic about six years ago(?) and it's made a pretty big difference in her life . . . we all notice that her depression is far less than ever . . . she just prays and prays and spends time in the Blessed Sacrament. If you can, try to spend an hour in the Blessed Sacrament after Mass, before Mass or some time during the week when you have time. Just sit there, if you must, and just say, "Lord, I am listening and loving being with You." Then, just be quiet or pour your heart out to Him there and be still. Revel in His Presence.
some times there is no earthly cure . . . we must endure for His reasons for whatever they are . . . and this is where Barbara is right in instructing "joining your suffering with His" which you can do by making Holy Hours.

BIG HUGS,
Sarah

Thou Art Jules said...

Thank you Sarah! I have been "curious" about the Blessed Sacrament. It takes me a while to gather the courage to try something new. I'm always afraid of doing something wrong or disrespectful. I know that's silly! I'm going to talk to my sons sponsor. She works at the church and see if she will go with me the first time for a few mins just to show me anything I am suppose to do or not do.

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