Monday, November 8, 2010

Yeah, it's not all roses! Marriage that is...

So, I read alot of posts online about marriage. Most of them are very sunny and uplifting. I've written these posts too so I'm not downing them. But, I thought this morning that perhaps we are really overlooking the tough days. Sure, we want to focus on the positive, we want to remember the good. But, what do we do on those bad days?

We cannot pretend that they don't happen. We cannot brush them aside or hide them in a closet. We have to deal with them. There aren't very many posts out there about the nuts and bolts of the bad days of marriage.

We all know that persistance is key in marriage. Not the only key but a pretty important one!

I'm having a bad day. I'm not forgetting the good days. I am trying to remember all the things I have to be grateful for. I am trying to keep focused on how wonderful my husband is. However, that doesn't make the issues go away. We have to deal with them.

I am very angry at my husband today. I am hurt and maybe a little confused. I'm having one of those days where I feel that he doesn't hear me, I feel insignificant and small.

These are not good feelings. They aren't just going to go away and I cannot just sweep them under the bed.

While I do not want to go into details here in cyberspace.. let me share with you what I think about the bad days.

1. Bad days happen, life simply cannot be filled with good days. There is good in every day but bad days happen.

2. Having a bad day does not mean your marriage is ruined! It will be ok.

3. It is OK to feel the feelings. Cry, kick your feet, do what you need to do to work through your emotions.

4. I get my feelings out before I confront the situation usually. Now today, I got alot of my feelings out right away without thinking about it at all! But, I can think before I react this evening for sure.

5. Don't forget why you are here. Remember what your marriage is all about. Remember the big picture.

6. Finally (hopefully today) we will sit down to discuss the issues and resolve them. I will apologize for any mistakes I have made and I will be graceful and forgiving. I will not however pretend that everything is OK before it really is.

7. I will continue to be the best wife I can be and seek the Lords guidance in all things!

That is all :-)


brandyreneebruce said...

Good post. No marriage is perfect, but when I'm frustrated, I think about how far we've come and how blessed I am to have someone to share my life with.

Sheri said...

Well I tend to write sunny marriage posts... but I am pretty real about my fight with depression...does that even me out.

Thou Art Jules said...

Brandy, I totally agree! You know how it gets.. you get into a routine and you kind of forget who you are married to. I always tell people when they feel they are growing apart, to really take the time to LOOK at their husband. Remember who he is and what made you fall in love with him!

Thou Art Jules said...

Hey Sheri! I have written a ton of sunny marriage posts as well. I just started wondering on this particular day if perhaps I was missing out of the opportunity to help others when they are struggling. I doubt I did that with this particular post but I think I will be looking into some similart posts that really dig into those tough times!

I am so glad that people are being "real" about depression! It affects to many of us and there is definitely strength in numbers!

Thank you so much for stopping by!!

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