Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Anxiety and I just don't get along!

Photo credit: BlatantNews

Panic at the VA Hospital should be the post title today!

Hubby asked me to ride with him for his hearing test at the VA medical center. He has applied for a disability rating with the VA for his hearing loss in the Navy.

I started a new medication this morning hoping to get my panic/anxiety/depression under control in a way that will allow me to function more in daily life.

By the time we reached the hospital I had worked myself up so badly thinking about this new medication that I was like a caged animal in the waiting room. Now... I didn't act like one but I felt like one!

I immediately felt relief when we started home.

I took a nice nap, dealt with some sweats and now seem to be settling in tonight just fine.

I am aware of my tendency to get paranoid about new medications. I have talked with family members so we can all be aware for the next 2 weeks or so. But, at the same time, I get so angry at myself! I know that I am causing this (or my way of thinking is) and yet I cannot control it or stop it once it starts. It makes me angry that I do not have control over something so basic.

I said a little prayer over and over today in the car. I told the Lord that I would be holding on to his hand and to please let me know if I need to be worried about anything. Unless I hear from him, I'll be tugging along and keeping the faith!

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